Chuck Norris facts

As everybody knows(?) Chuck Norris facts stopped being "cool, like, in an ironic way, dude" about 2 years ago; they are now considered cluelessly dorky amongst the hip(even dorkier than claiming Eva Mendes is hotter than Madeleine Stowe; nude photos below).

Let's remember this internet craze by listing 10 of the greatest Chuck Norris facts(if someone spots you reading, proclaim that they are "totally unfunny" and "so last year", and there will be no harm done to your hip-factor):

Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting...CHUCK NORRIS GOES KILLING.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.

In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer.

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.

Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.

It takes 14 puppeteers to make Chuck Norris smile, but only 2 to make him destroy an orphanage.